Why ROM After All?

I have written a heartfelt and personal reflection on ROM and circumstances surrounding ROM and our future commitment to its ministry at this time, and I would appreciate if those friends who love ROM would take time to read it. Thank you. Love you.

Why ROM After All?

Two weeks ago, as we were driving back home from the church, my wife Christine asked me suddenly: “Why do you think the Renewing Our Minds project should go on? We know what a blessing ROM has been for many young people in the Balkans, but what if after twelve years God has something else in mind - for the region, for you, for us?”

Although my immediate response could have suggested otherwise, Christine’s question was not intended as an intimidation. Leading one of the most exciting international leadership and reconciliation movements for over eight years, with the impact reaching far beyond the boundaries of Southeast Europe, has been to both of us a source of great joy, blessing and learning; as well as of uncertainties, frustrations and times of loneliness despite being surrounded by many loving and carrying friends worldwide. Often we would feel like quitting and moving on into something safer and more reassuring; especially as people who, at our place in life, ought to be thinking more strategically about where we will be in ten to fifteen years from now, should the Lord grant us this period of time.

At this time the questions about the ROM’s future and our return to Croatia are closely related.  The past eight years of my life have been graced by the presence and support of my loving, hard working and patient wife. At the time when many in the US are loosing their source of income and homes, she has a secure job as a physiotherapist, with frequent and tempting offers of a better-paid place of work.  Planning of our comeback to the Balkans does not come to us out of necessity or as a choice made in desperate circumstances.  As one of our Croatian neighbors in Fuzine commented last summer on hearing that we were planning to live in Croatia again: “I don’t know why on earth would anyone want to come back?” From a purely rational point of view building our family future in the US would be a responsible way to go. Besides, Australia would not be a bad choice either, and we could easily go there should this become necessary. But, there is something much more that ties me with Croatia and Southeast Europe. It comes out of my inner conviction, passion and sense of mission - in which over the years I’ve enjoyed Christine’s support, as well as of her family. In short, should ROM continue with its mission, we too I believe should be based in Croatia, at least for some time.

This inner conviction, however, gets shaken at times. There are moments when I feel that my passions, commitments and plans need revisiting. I owe it to my wife and my family to think accountably about where I am taking them in the future. Lately, as I take my daily walks, have my devotional times and when I am in bed, I would reflect, debate and pray along the questions: Is my commitment presumptuous or grounded in the genuine sense of calling? Am I dragging my family in a direction that is irresponsible or unnecessarily hazardous? What if I am not discerning enough to see that after almost nine years of leading ROM in the Balkans the Lord is now guiding me elsewhere? Should I take a break by pursuing additional studies for a while, or to find a place in another ministry that advances His Kingdom here in the US, or both? These questions would lead to other. Maybe the Lord’s planned mission for ROM has been completed by now? After all shouldn’t ROM be about Jesus of Nazareth and not about becoming a respectable self-serving brand? Isn’t being removed ten to fifteen years from the Balkan wars that brought ROM into existence weakening the reasons for its further continuation? And then comes probably the most probing question – Are we true to our claims that Jesus of Nazareth is in the center of ROM?

Over the past couple of weeks I had to think hard about the reasons that not only defend, but voice a clear call for the continuation of ROM? For someone who has been routinely promoting ROM for years I had to think beyond clichés that so easily accompany the promotion of a cherished project. I had to talk to myself intentionally and honestly as if upon the emerging answers depends all its future. And this is what has emerged out of my thinking.

From 1999 until now ROM has been a highly effective, motivational and life-defining ministry.  Spending up to three weeks in an intentional learning community of people at a time, ethnically and religiously diverse, would always lead to the shaking of paradigms and assumptions; then to embracing of each other in our differences; and, finally to the transformation of characters and outlooks. The final outcome for many taking part in the journey would be arriving at a clearer sense of calling, purpose and direction for their lives, as well as to a commitment to become the agents of positive changes in their communities. It is not a coincidence that many, having experienced ROM, would soon be found there where their lives would become a witness of service to others - either through their choices of further education or profession, or active involvement in various political, governmental, social, humanitarian and religious services.  “It is evident that people who attend ROM have gone to establish projects which bring about reconciliation in their communities, serve the poor, work with orphans, teach the disabled, and provide encouragement to those suffering from illness.” – recently wrote Brett McMichael, a psychologist, ROM participant and facilitator since 2004, in tune with the witness of many who have experienced ROM in the past years. The continuing strength of ROM has been - impacting people who would in turn impact others.

Moreover, embracing forgiveness, reconciliation, and empathy for those on the other side, have become attested and demonstrated realities for those who have experienced ROM. Whoever has tasted ROM gatherings in action will remember being moved to tears by the profound moments of love when forgiveness, empathy and reconciliation would burst between Croats, Serbs, Bosniaks and Kosovars; Macedonians and Albanians; Cypriot Turks and Armenians; Christians and Muslims. A moving testimony of Sanaa Rizek, Arab young lady from Israel, made soon after she returned home from attending ROM Gathering 2009, speaks for many who have experienced forgiveness at ROM gatherings: “Two days after I returned from ROM, I went with a Jewish friend to have a breakfast. I told her about ROM, and then out of the blue I had tears in my eyes and I told her – ‘You know, now I can say I sincerely love you’.

The experience of Mark Casey, Common Path Alliance Executive Director from USA and a speaker at ROM Gathering 2009 speaks powerfully too: “Here were three different ladies from three different parts of the world who were as different as they could be (Muslim, Christian and a Muslim who became a follower of Jesus), but at this moment in time as they shared their heartfelt stories they were relating to each other around the person of Jesus Christ. They did not all share the same views, but they were talking and loving each other despite their differences. What amazing Kingdom work God allowed me to be a part of in the beautiful country of Croatia.”

I am convinced that today more than ever before, when many are working hard to intensify the tensions between religious, racial and ethnic groups across the world, as well as to abuse every possible difference among the peoples to enhance fear and control, the world needs leaders who have themselves embraced forgiveness and reconciliation, in order to become the ambassadors of reconciliation in our divided communities and the world. A cause such as ROM, that nurtures leaders who would demonstrate forgiveness and reconciliation, has hardly reached its expiry date.

Furthermore, in the still divided Balkans and no less divided world, ROM has emphasized the importance of building benevolent and loving communities. Despite its own limitations ROM has been offering a model community where relationships matter, trivialities are discarded, dividing issues are dialogued, the truth is handled lovingly, and Jesus of Nazareth is upheld constantly and unashamedly. It was not a coincidence that the key ROM event – Renewing Our Minds Gathering, was designed as a three-week learning community on a journey, rather than a weekend or a weeklong conference, seminar or a workshop that provides only a brief academic and theoretical guidance. Only recently, having faced financial challenges, have we shorten it unwillingly to two, or two and a half weeks, and are now under the threat to reduce it even further – to a week long event.

From its very beginning the intention of ROM visionaries has been to see that a genuine family atmosphere, born afresh at each ROM Gathering , would continue to grow beyond events and across the entire Balkan region through lasting and resourceful friendships, and formation of small locally rooted groups of friends – networking, worshiping and serving in character. Although I believe that more ought to be done in the future, in the past years we have witnessed a development of both: a sense of bonding into a worldwide family of friends between those who have once tasted ROM, and the birth of a number of service and action focused groups of friends across the Balkans, and further.

Finally, encouraging everyone who attends ROM gatherings to consider following Jesus has always been the guiding objective of ROM. This has been achieved through: providing a receptive and loving environment and serving team of leaders and facilitators; offering the New Testament and the witness of Jesus’ followers throughout the centuries who have changed their environments through their service, to witness about Jesus; being opened to the moving of the Holy Spirit who often overrides the planned schedule with genuine highlighting moments; and, by assuring that the entire spectrum of learning at ROM gatherings is informed by the teachings of Jesus Christ and the values of His Kingdom.

Our desire has always been that the three weeks of this amazing journey would equip and empower all involved to serve the world in distress, after one had tasted a vision of a better world at ROM through the eyes of Jesus. “ROM Gathering represents a mountaintop experience, where Jesus’ presence is felt the love is all around you, but then Jesus call us to leave the mountain and share that love with others” – my wife Christine explained in one of her reports about ROM.

It would not be realistic to expect that everyone attending ROM events would accept the lordship of Jesus Christ. But some have. A young Muslim lady from Bosnia does not hesitate to testify that she could not ignore the claims of Jesus. Another young woman having attended ROM Gathering 2010 shared her experience with friends of having seen Jesus in a dream who told her to follow Him. There is no doubt however that at ROM gatherings many fall in love with the non-tribal Jesus of Nazareth, whose appeal goes beyond anyone’s religious claims or agenda. Consequently, Muslims attending ROM have grown to understand that Jesus has never been their enemy, even if Christians have. Nominal Christians and those not previously seeing beyond the claims of their religious traditions, often mixed with the appeals of ethnic identity, have encountered Jesus who cannot be bound by any tradition or owned by any ethno-religious system. Likewise, Christians of evangelical and protestant persuasions have learned that the Kingdom of God is not fenced by the boundaries of their many and often tiny self-absorbed denominations in the Balkans.

I believe that everyone who has ever witnessed ROM in action could testify that we have always aimed at lifting up the name of Jesus as the One who transcends everything and everyone – our history, culture, religion, worldview, spiritual founders and gurus of any making.  And to keep us on the right track we would often remind ourselves that ROM is not about ROM, but about Jesus. I firmly believe that if ROM is to continue serving with a difference, its legitimacy will be in its future leaders continuing to focus on the centrality of Jesus Christ and clarity of his message in the pursuit of the ROM mission.

In short, there are four areas of a continuing strength and vibrancy of the Renewing Our Minds ministry.  ROM is foremost a mission that challenges paradigms and assumptions, and through which God refines the characters of young leaders and motivates a change, at personal and collective levels. Then, it is a place where forgiveness and reconciliation are demonstrated realities. Moreover, ROM is a community in progress where loving one’s neighbor and leadership of serving are taught and practiced. Furthermore, it is the environment where all teaching ingredients are anchored in the teachings, example and following of Jesus of Nazareth. All of those together have formed the life defining identity of the ROM mission. Although one is far from boasting that it is ROM that has turned so many of its past participants into great leaders and civil servants, it cannot be overlooked that at ROM gatherings a precious seed is sown repeatedly into the lives of young people, who – having taken the ownership of what they have experienced at ROM would nurture it into examples of inspiring and mature leaderships across the Balkans and beyond.

I have been reassured that the past years have not been wasted, and have regained a conviction that not only the Balkans, but the world too, are continuing to be very much in need of causes such as Renewing Our Minds. Likewise, I have been reminded that every time a ROM gathering is in progress, the Holy Spirit is in motion too - challenging, impacting and changing lives of everyone involved, including us who have repeatedly served in its leadership. Should ROM continue, after all? We believe that this is the only way to go.

Consequently, should Christine, Matthew and I continue to plan our comeback to Croatia in 2011 with a renewed commitment to four years, as our current plan stands? There is still much to be done to build a regional core group of leaders, who would at one point take the button and lead this amazing, but fragile, movement forward. There is yet much to be done to set a stage for further growth of ROM in the region, focusing decisively on the development of the characters of leaders in the image of Jesus of Nazareth, and on building an intentional and actively serving community of leaders, followers of Jesus. Likewise, there is still much to be done to add new contents that would enhance follow-up and continuing spiritual formation for those who desire to grow spiritually further. And for those who cannot be directly reached on a regular basis there is a need to develop strategic partnerships with organizations and entities in the region which could provide extended mentoring beyond ROM events. Twelve years later ROM ought to be delivered to a new level of service, and refreshed with new people in its leadership structure, and this work cannot be efficiently done from the US, despite all the blessings of virtual communication, such as Internet, Facebook, twitter or Skype. No doubt that despite its fragility the past twelve years we have witnessed ROM developing into a good educational and transformational tool – tested, proven, effective, and blessed by a sizable and resourceful international community of leaders and friends. These are some of the reasons for our renewed four-year commitment to serving in Southeast Europe.

The message seems to be clear – ROM should move on.  But how?

My reflection would be incomplete if I would fail to mention that there are serious challenges that are facing the whole prospect of bringing ROM to a new level of service, chiefly manifest in the weakening of financial support. At the time of continuing global economical and financial crisis many leaders in the faith-based non-profit circles are only too familiar with the problem. I hear it in the forms of urgent appeals broadcast every day by many Christian radio and TV ministries, and received daily through a number of newsletters sent or mailed by many faith based ministries and action groups. ROM’s situation is not different, and this is why almost everyone on our mailing list has been repeatedly receiving our appeal letters over the past month – to the point of my personal embarrassment. I often remember a summer in Sweden many years ago when as a student I was earning my scholarship by selling books door to door. Although the reason was noble I felt like a beggar. In today’s situation the comfort comes from knowing that many ROM-like ministries share in the same fate. Only a few days ago I had a dinner with a friend, successful minister and manager, who is currently fundraising for a worthy cause, who said - “You won’t believe how hard I find it to convince myself to ask for money. “

For a movement that has until now always and entirely depended on donations and grants, and which continues to provide its services almost free of charge to all participants from the Balkans and other economically disadvantaged regions, decreasing financial support represents a serious threat to the nature of its future ministry. The hard times produce new questions that some of us, although reluctantly, have to consider now. Due to shrinking budgets should we shrink the length of the three-week ROM gathering to a few days only? If so, will the radically shortened ROM gatherings provide the climate leading to the same transformational and relational outcome? Should we keep its length but provide the ROM service only to those who can afford? Would the elitist nature of the future ROM change its originally intended nature as a movement seeking to recognize and serve prospective leaders irrespective of their socio-economic status? After all, to what extent would ROM have to change in the light of weakening of financial support?

What makes a difference in the levels of support generated by some affluent and noble service orientated organizations in the world, whose struggle with the current global financial crisis has been less painful, and ROM is in that ROM does not have a huge logistical structure able to invest into an ongoing and persuasive marketing, promotion, advertising, and soliciting strategies. Moreover, many donors of the day are responsive to the appeals that produce dramatic, and immediately visible and enumerated results only, mostly in the third-world countries. A photo of an undernourished parentless child in a distant country would attract a much more quicker response that the one of a future leader in Albania or Sudan. May I say that I love the work of the faith-based agencies, big and small, that are feeding the hungry, building shelters, vaccinating the sick, saving children. What I am saying though is that as a movement bent on the long term character formation of leaders, with results that are continually in progress and visible only later, and success that cannot be rightly recognized through enumerations, ROM does not have a popular appeal in the circles where immediacy and quantities are taken as the defining criteria for giving.

The bottom line is this. If the future of ROM depends solely on the skills of advertising, promotion and marketing, and the gamble of whether we can make enough for ROM to transit to a new level, we are in for a soon foreclosure. From a purely human point of view ROM at this moment does not have a chance to move beyond its twelfth year. We in the leadership team are reconciling ourselves with the thoughts that this might be so, and have made a decision that we will allow only another three months to make the final decision as to what is the right thing to do. Although I am not into a prosperity gospel and do not believe that a legitimacy of a God given vision and mission should be assessed through the quantities of material blessings, I am providing a space for a thought that the Lord might be saying something through the current crisis. Moreover, I am convinced that money should be a servant to a good vision and mission, and not the other way round. I would not like to see ROM developing into an organization with the vision dictated by money. And this is why I have been praying lately – “Lord, let your will be done, whatever it is.”

There is another voice that I am hearing lately too, however.  It calls me to be patient, trusting and persistent. A song I love says – “He didn’t lead us so far to let us die”. From time to time I would hear the reassuring voices of friends - “Keep on moving, ROM is the Lord’s work. “ Deep in my heart I know, despite the times that are challenging, that there are funds around meant for ROM. Often I think of a sizable international family of friends, hundreds in number, that has been encircling ROM over the years. These are the people who love ROM. Many of them have witnessed ROM in action, or have been themselves blessed through its ministry. Others have seen its results in the lives of those who have shared enthusiastically with them what the Lord had done in their lives through ROM. The extraordinary commitment of a committed few – individuals, churches and organizations, who would often go an extra mile despite their own challenging circumstances, strengthens my faith that there must be more in the extended ROM family of friends willing to commit to sacrificial giving.  If only they could awaken somehow to the urgency of the moment and realization what a difference their giving could make to the Renewing Our Minds ministry at this time. Also I am being reassured that there must be others too, willing to give and yet to be discovered, and I am in search for them too.

And so we march on across a desert of questions and uncertainties, planning and dreaming big dreams through prayer, hope and occasional despair; wrestling with the Lord occasionally, and waiting on God and people to surprise us; looking forward to crossing of the Jordan and committed to make it to the other side; eager to see the Kingdom of God advanced in the Balkans, and knowing that we cannot do it alone; believing that God is bigger than any challenge, and learning that sacrifice is not a sacrifice if it costs you nothing.